DAVE MOWS GRASS
Life-long tradesman seeking position as lifestyle editor for swanky, new-age cultural journal.
SUMMARY OF QUALIFICATIONS:
Trained machinist and experienced satirist capable of working safely and lyrically in any production environment. Literate in blueprint reading, precision measuring, and statistical prose control. Known for stylistically cogent training in both manual and numerical-control machine operation. Unique ability to employ humor at inappropriate times.
LEAD FABRICATOR - ACME ARCHITECTURAL EXTRUSIONS
Fabricated storm-proof windows and allegorical structures for South Florida condo market. Trained new machine operators and assisted with difficult metaphors. Led team in redesign of slider door assembly line doubling productivity while reducing wordiness by half. Life of party at company fishing tournaments.
TOOLMAKER - CARBIDE SYSTEMS
Manufactured poignant press tooling with clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Selected appropriate cutting tools for irony, steel, and non-ferrous compositions. Provided liberal perspective on current events as break room clown.
NORTHWEST TECHNICAL INSTITUTE
Post-graduate Fellow in Machine Tool Technology
Thesis: Electrical Discharge Machining for Burr-free Removal of Misplaced Modifiers in Copper-based Alloys
CHEYENNE AERO TECH
Certified Airframe and Punctuation Mechanic
Class A CDL with Hazmat and Diction Endorsements
GIVE ME A CALL!