Monday, February 22, 2010

My Greatest Disappointment

I'm not an especially smart guy, but I think with such speed and such constancy, and I have a sufficiently keen awareness of my own thoughts, that whenever a single pellet from my shotgun blast of cranial crosstalk actually hits on something insightful (not because I aimed well but because I threw out enough boxes of shells), I'm usually able to collect my game. Most of the time, I just enjoy it myself, barbecued on a stick. Occasionally I'll share it, and about half of those times, the person or people I'm sharing it with recognize the sharpness of it and tell me so, which makes me very happy. My greatest disappointment, though, comes that one time a year when a pellet takes a miraculous ricochet into some undiscovered dimension of understanding and I hit on something really, earthshakingly smart. If I had any brains at all, I would simply enjoy this new, hard-won knowledge myself, barbecued on a stick. But I don't have any brains at all. Instead, I keep thinking that, if I shout my grand idea to the world loudly enough, someone will acknowledge the brilliance of it. I keep thinking someone will acknowledge the brilliance of me! As it always happens, though, my one brilliant thought of the year, the one output that made my 365 days of constant, deafening brain noise all worthwhile, is completely lost on the rest of the world. Once, just once, I wish I'd be walking through the mall and hear a voice behind me saying, "Dude, your fucking jersey rocks!"


Anonymous said...

Dave, that jersey is brilliant. I'm going to order one that reads "Proust" (an idea I stole from you) so that we can start the first literary hockey league. I think Balzac would make a good goalie. Or does fat not equate puck-stopping ability?

UF Mike

bulletholes said...

Dave, that Jersey would be brilliant if anybody in Springdale actually knew who Gogol was.
I'd go with "Fido", though i don't think anybody associates that name with a dog anymore. its been overun by "Wishbone", "Spud" and "Marley".

Dave Mows Grass said...

That would be pretty cool, PROUST on a Lokomotiv Yaroslav Jesrey.

Steve? You ok? Did you really miss my whole point?

carl duewall said...

you walk through malls?

bulletholes said...

dAVE , I KINDA GET IT, BUT YOU (oops) but you are posting such great stuff that works on so many levels that I'm thinking you could move to Minneapolis and still be shooting buckshot over everybody's head.
I'll tell you this....I associate 3 movies with your dad...movies that I saw when he was home from the Point ior the 'Nam or whatever.
One of them is "Taras Bulba".

My jersey? Make mine an "Oswald"

Anonymous said...

Oswald? Brilliant!!

UF Mike