Sunday, February 21, 2010

Fans Agree: Curling Women Hot!

Vancouver--According to the latest straw poll, curling fans are split on which Team USA women's curler looks hottest while concentrating. Overall, 43% of male respondents chose Allison Pottinger and 41% chose team skip Debbie McCormick, well within the poll's 4% margin of error. The remaining 16% chose either Nicole Joraanstad or Natalie Nicholson. Pottinger was the clear leader among men who described themselves as "cuteness-oriented" while McCormick won among "sexiness-oriented" respondents. Both Pottinger and McCormick were rated as "extremely hot" by respondents at least 30 years old. Joraanstad was rated "extremely hot" by younger fans while Nicholson was considered "hot" by all age groups. When asked to write in the specific qualities which made curling women so hot, older respondents made references to womanliness and intense facial expressions while concentrating. The under-30 group listed flexibility and mean camel toe as common indicators of hotness. In focus group testing related to this poll, it was universally agreed that women curlers are the hottest female atheletes in the Olympics, including ice dancers and hockey players. According to the focus group, even Chinese curlers are hot as hell.


Anonymous said...

Wow. They are hot. And I definitely fall into the older demographic (I'm no spring chicken), what with the fact that I'm incredibly turned on by the "intense facial expressions while concentrating."

You were right about the Olympics, I was wrong. I intend to start watching them in earnest (and with my pants around my ankles) today!

UF Mike

Dave Mows Grass said...

Damn, Mike, I'm glad you're finally coming around on this. You've been watching these 18-year-old pieces of fluff in the snowboarding events and loosing interest. A 35-year-old curler has some substance to her. She has a story to tell and she tells it on her face. When she's concentrating.

Anonymous said...

I love a woman that can concentrate so profoundly and singulary on a game that approximately 0.0001% (not including Canada) of the earth's population even knows the fucking name of, much less the rules. THAT turns me on. Is that weird?


Dave Mows Grass said...

That's not weird at all, Seth. Weird is loving a woman who can concentrate so profoundly and singularly on basketball. (Duh, me shoot ball in hoop!) Curling women have more intelligence in their frosbitten pinky-toes than basketball players have in their whole bodies. That's what makes them so hot!

bulletholes said...

Its the grip and release that buckles my knees!

Dave Mows Grass said...

"Its the grip and release that buckles my knees!"

Very nice, Stevie!