Thursday, February 10, 2011

My New Year's Resolution

I don't have one. And if I did have one, I'd keep it to myself, at least until I was certain my non-challenging and utterly achievable goal would in fact be achieved. Like last year: I didn't start blowing my horn about reading Proust until I was three-quarters through it with five months left in the year. It was a done deal! But no, I'm not going to annoy my valued friends by blathering on about all my absurd self-improvement fiascoes. Say for instance I had agreed to run the Hottest Half with my sister this August 14th, in Dallas, at 7:30 in the morning. I would not announce it here! For one thing, I would never run this half marathon or any other half marathon because only a madman would want to run a half marathon. Only a madman would run a 10k or a 5k, or a 1000m or a 500m, or a 100m dash. Only a madman would run at all. Only a madman would quicken his step as he leaves Walmart to allow a car to pass sooner. Why would anyone do such a thing? Secondly, Dallas in August is too hot to do anything but sit on a couch with a fan and a cold beer. Only a madman would actually want to exercise in Dallas in August. So no! I will not be running no Hottest Half with my sister in Dallas in August, because only a madman would do such a thing!

3 comments:

Martijn said...

There are lots of madmen in Dallas I gather, so it wouldn't be too far into the realms of crazyness to run godknows how many miles 20 kilometres is. Keep us posted when you succeed!

Martijn

Dave Mows Grass said...

Succeed? What are you talking about, Martijn? Are you deranged? Could I have been any more clear that I'm NOT going to be running any half marathon in Texas in August?

Thanks for the encouragement! Hopefully I won't die of heat stroke half way through.

Anonymous said...

I'm half-tempted to go down and watch. But watching is probably as hot and uncomfortable as running the damn thing. So I think I'll pass. Anyway, as you won't be running...

UF Mike