Monday, September 05, 2011

There's Nothing Wrong With my Bike

My bike, as much as it kills me to say this, is adequate. It has been adjusted periodically but never modified, and alas!, it requires no modification now. Worse yet, I cannot think of any modification, needed or not, that would make it more suitable to my needs, and I don't make that statement casually. I make that statement after viewing and reading the product description for every single part available from Dan's Comp, the ultimate BMX shop if the universe. If Dan's Comp doesn't have a part that would improve the appearance, reliability, or functionality of my bike, then no such part exists. What has life done to me that I'm able to accept this bewildering fact? Has my fire burned out? I'm a lifelong gear head, or at least I was. I used to be able to modify a measuring cup to make it better. I could modify a hair comb! Now I can't even summon the enthusiasm to modify something as exciting and deeply personal as my bicycle. When I see that my rear wheel has gone out of true causing the brake to wear the rim unevenly, what do I do? Do I order a new double-wall rim along with an 11-tooth cassette hub and a 25-tooth aluminum chainring to replace my 13-tooth freewheel hub and 30-tooth steel chainring? No. What do I do? I buy a spoke wrench and true up the existing wheel. Then I congratulate myself for saving so much money. How sorry is that! And when my seatpost was squeaking, did I replace my rail-type saddle with a pivotal saddle and buy a lightweight aluminum seatpost? Of course I didn't. I took my crappy stamped steel seatpost apart, coated everything with vaseline, and put it back together, eliminating the squeak entirely. Again I congratulated myself. Then I stand back and marvel at how well the designers at Felt Bicycles balanced weight, features, and price to create a 24" BMX cruiser that, with no modifications at all, fit the needs of a forty-year-old man trying to reconnect in some Proustian sense with his very slightly better childhood. What has happened to me? I swear sometimes I look into the mirror and see a total stranger.

9 comments:

bulletholes said...

Dave, you crack me up.
This is even more streamlined and succinct than the new method you told me about for storing all your extra nuts and bolts and assorted hardwares.
I like the way you seem to be pandering to a couple gearhead shops, all the while giving away home remedies. i tried to true a whaeel one time. It was a disaster.

Dave Renfro said...

I'm glad my existential crisis cracks you up, Steve. If I'm not a modifier of things, what exactly am I?

Martijn said...

An Accepter? You have to watch out for that Dave... I'm a Colossal Accepter. I have accepted the downfall of everything, including myself. And that's not the way foreward.

But your story ammused & inspired me too!

red dirt girl said...

Cool bike, Dave! As a woman I can only relate this tale to going into a huge department store shoe sale and walking out with nothing but the shoes I walked in on ...

xxx

Dave Renfro said...

Martijn, accepting is definitely not the way forward but I have accepted it nonetheless. It will be my downfall as well, but actuarially speaking that downfall will probably take another forty years to complete. Which frightens the hell out of me!

Dave Renfro said...

Hi mule friend! Yeah, walking into a bike/shoe shop and coming out empty handed is a real bitch. For me, it has a lot to do with the fact that China will not lend me any more money. Living within your means is so dehumanizing!

red dirt girl said...

Tell me about it, friend!!! The former golden cage did have its financial perks .... but then again, so does selling your soul to the devil.

xxx

carl duewall said...

You need a hobby, Dave...

Dave Renfro said...

You're right, Carl, I do need a hobby. I think I might try blogging.