Monday, August 17, 2009

Policy Memo - Scriptural References

In the past, DMG Gibberish Solutions has used oblique scriptural references to add weight and haughtiness to ideas and concepts it deemed important. New focus group testing has shown that this approach no longer works and often has the opposite effect. It annoys those who don't ascribe to any particular faith and offends those who do. For this reason, the Five Pillars of Operators Paint Machine (OPM) will now be called the Five Tenets of OPM and the Ten Commandments of Single-minute Exchange of Gibberish (SMEG) will be called simply the Ten Rules of SMEG. We will continue to refer to the Seven Chakras of the Dave Mows Grass Production System (DMGPS) as the Seven Chakras until an adequate substitute word can be found. If you find similar scriptural references in any DMG documents or publications, please let your supervisor know so we can have the language updated to reflect the changing Zeitgeist. Thank you for your cooperation in this matter.

Dave Renfro, CEO

Controlled document. Not for distribution.
DMG-54127

7 comments:

walter wardlow said...

would you please have someone from document control at DMG Gibberish Solutions explain the document numbering system etc.? thanks in advance!

Cooper Green said...

But you're still Dave The Redeemer?

bulletholes said...

Has the Single-Minute Exchange of Gibberish Mean-Average (SMEGMA)been affected?

Dave Mows Grass said...

Please, Walter, there's nothing cryptic about it. We just choose five numbers.

Dave the Redeemer, yes sir! If business doesn't pick up, I'm going to be redeeming food stamps.

Hey Bulletholes, how'd you like that perfect pitch I threw ya? First mulch, now SMEGMA. You're looking for a promotion!

bulletholes said...

Ya know, if those Japs can change out a 5 million ton stamp and have the new one aligned to within .0001millimeter in less than 12 minutes, you'd think they could cure a little Burmese Cheesedick.

walter wardlow said...

it is a good day any day you find yourself NOT at a pep boys on pine street in tulsa oklahoma needing a power steering pump pulley puller for your 1978 f 150.

bulletholes said...

My Instruction Manual just spoke in tongues!