Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Job Posting - Brain Cell Operator

Our Playground Padding Group (PGPG) is expanding operations in order to keep up with increasing demand. We are in need of four brain cell operators, two for day shift and two for nights, to man two new brain cells. Each operator will be responsible for both the left brain and right brain in one cell. Two years manufacturing experience required with gibberish production experience a definite plus. Job involves long hours of thankless toil under inhospitable conditions. Qualified applicants will have suffered. Please post resume and gibberish sample to www.davemowsgrass.blogspot.com if you love gibberish!

DMG Gibberish Solutions is an equal opportunity employer.

41 comments:

Cooper Green said...

Can me and my friend Eric apply?

walter wardlow said...

do you think i'm qualified? is there an apprentice program?

bulletholes said...

I'm already swamped.

Dave Renfro said...

Cooper, that' the kind of gibberish I want under my kid's swing set. You're hired!

Dave Renfro said...

What are you talking about, Walter? You served your apprenticeship the same time I did under master gibberishsmith Judd Clark. Blockit witti tolet paper!

Dave Renfro said...

Bulletholes, I understand. Can you work part time?

soubriquet said...

I'm deeply afeared of whatever gidgits your machine shop produces. I sense a less than dedicated workforce.
Next time I fly anywhere I'll email you the type of plane, and hope for an assurance that you and your co-operators were not involved in producing any of the myriad parts that are needed to persuade it all to go on flying, several miles above the hard, unforgiving, ground.

Dave Renfro said...

Forget it, Soub. The seat cushions in just about every passenger plane made in the last twenty years are stuffed with DMG gibberish made by our Advanced Floatation and Buoyancy Group (AFBG). Our seat cushion gibberish contains carbon particles which filter our 90% of the fart smell. But don't worry, our gibberish really does float!

bulletholes said...

Have a flotsam day!

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Налоговики - миллионеры... БУСАРЕВ ВЯЧЕСЛАВ ВАЛЕНТИНОВИЧ Украина, АР Крым, г.Симферополь.

Не для кого не секрет, что экономика Украины в настоящее время находится в кризисе. Не смотря на это, есть специалисты, которые под ширмой государственных служащих работают против государства, которое доверило им занимать высокие должности, оплачивает достойную заработную плату, но …?!
Одним из таких деятелей, является БУСАРЕВ ВЯЧЕСЛАВ ВАЛЕНТИНОВИЧ - председатель налоговой службы АР Крым. Личность, которую можно поставить в пример многим политикам, ведь Вячеслав Бусарев получил старт в карьере государственного служащего когда у власти была Партия Регионов, однако, остался при должности и до настоящего времени, когда Партия Регионов находится в оппозиции, а все почему?! Все очень просто, В.Бусарев работает на свой карман, а не для бюджета Украины, «кормит» вышестоящее руководство ГНА Украины и остается «своим» при любой власти в стране. Перейду к конкретике, подтверждающей все выше изложенное.
Существует такое понятие «налоговая яма», это предприятие, которое создает затратную часть предприятий-контрагентов посредством предоставления им налогового кредита. Проще говоря, помогает предприятиям контрагентам завышать свои затраты, тем самым минимизируя уплату налогов в бюджет, а иногда при миллионных оборотах предприятий сводит уплату налогов в бюджет к нулю. Как Вы понимаете, деятельность таких предприятий должна быть незамедлительно пресечена налоговой службой, но, под непосредственным контролем В.Бусарева на территории АР Крым были созданы и помогали скрывать налоги предприятиям Крыма и некоторых регионов Украины следующие «налоговые ямы»:

ЧП «Зовик» (код 24504001);
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ООО «Фотон 102» (код 34861343);
ЧП «Керчмет» (код 34908260);
ООО «Партенитинвест» (код 34938871);
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ООО Салтовский хлебзавод» (код 36165787);
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ЧП «Крым-строй-ТИС» (код 36165106);
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ЧП «ТИС» (код 36165064);
ООО «Т.И.С.-строй» (код 36165038);
ЧП «Тисстрой» (код 36165148);
ЧП «Крымтисстрой» (код 36165174);
ООО «Южсаппорт» (код 36275069);
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ЧП «Крым строй поставка» (код 36478440)
ООО «Консалавто» (код 36478990);
ЧП «Сервис-Крым-Сбыт» (код 36583473);
ЧП «Крым-Сервис-Сбыт» (код 36583447);
ЧП «Сбыт-Крым-Сервис» (код 36583384).

Почему то, при якобы тотальном контроле со стороны налоговой, указанные выше субъекты без проведения проверок перестают работать, а на их месте создаются в один день от трех до пяти подобных предприятий, при чем регистрируются в один день, на одних и тех же лиц, также в один день выдается свидетельство плательщика НДС, при отсутствии расчетных счетов в банках.
Все вышеуказанные предприятия «помогли» своим контрагентам скрыть от налогообложения сотни миллионов гривен, а это бюджетные деньги страны. Соответственно, за «спасибо», т.е. бесплатно, указанные предприятия не существовали бы. Поэтому предприимчивый В.Бусарев обложил данную деятельность «налогом в свой карман», а именно, ставка этого «налога» составила 0,8% от валового оборота деятельности каждого из указанных предприятий, а это в итоге миллионы гривен. Но, как Вы понимаете, без поддержки сверху, такая «деятельность» не существовала бы. Поэтому В.Бусарев должен отдавать некоторую часть денег заместителю ГНА Украины В.Кайзерману, который взамен, за это поддерживает В.Бусарева и ежемесячно либо снижает планы поступления налоговой Крыма в бюджет, либо при угрозе его невыполнения корректирует в сторону уменьшения.
На указанном примере работы В.Бусарева, становится понятно, каким образом налоговики становятся миллионерами.

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