Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Internal Memo to Upper Management - Pricing

As you know, our Re-Thought© line of post-consumer, recycled gibberish has been very popular with an increasingly "green" public, accounting for nearly 40% of sales. We are currently pricing Re-Thought© 50% higher than our standard product even though the cost to produce it is exactly the same. We must aggressively defend this higher margin by allowing no one outside the upper management group and purchasing department to ever find out that our standard product is made of the same 100% post-consumer, recycled material used in Re-Thought©. That means no one! One tiny leak to a family member or a trusted colleague could rout our profits and damage our credibility with our customers forever. No one will buy our gibberish. Let's keep DMG Gibberish Solutions strong by keeping our mouths shut, shall we? Thank you for your cooperation in this matter.

Dave Renfro, CEO

Maximum security document. May not be physically or electronically duplicated in any manner. Not for distribution outside the big room.
DMG-45130X

4 comments:

walter wardlow said...

if you can't dazzle them with your brilliance you can baffle them with bull shit.

Dave Mows Grass said...

Are you reading my gibberish from Scotland?

w.w. said...

no, got back last Saturday. had a good time but glad to be back. very crowded there (London, Edinburgh).

bulletholes said...

Can you mulch with gibberish?