Saturday, June 16, 2012

Six Hours of Don Tyson Parkway

Welcome all runners!

June 22nd, 2012, 8:00 AM start time. Come join me for a great day of heatstroke, mental anguish, and shin-pounding boredom on the hard concrete sidewalks of the Don Tyson. It will be fun!

Course details:

The race course will be the sidewalk on the south side of Don Tyson Parkway between the Johnson Road intersection and the first entrance to Kent Dobbs Hyundai. The starting line will be the expansion joint nearest the traffic light pole at Johnson Road. The turn-around point will be expansion joint preceding the crosshatched sidewalk section at the entrance to the Kent Dobbs used car lot.

Timing and Scoring:

The race will start at 8:00 AM and end at 2:00 PM. There will be a piece of paper taped to the traffic light electrical panel on which each runner will enter her name and keep a tally of completed laps. No credit will be given for partial laps at the end of the 6-hour race period. The number of laps each runner completes will be multiplied by 1.355 to determine his total mileage. Anyone who continues on the course for at least four hours will receive a token prize.

Aid Station:

There will be a stash of water, Gatorade, PB&J sandwiches, Clif bars, Hammer Gel, Endurolytes, sunscreen, and basic foot care supplies at the west side of the railroad bridge.


Sensible people who I know and trust may use the bathroom in my home. Wait for me by the crosswalk at Cambridge and I will escort you. The distance from the crosswalk to my home is the same as the distance from the starting line to the crosswalk. To keep an accurate lap count, you will run from the start line to Kent Dobbs, run back as far as the crosswalk, run back and forth to the potty, run back to Kent Dobbs, and then run back to the starting line where you will tally two laps. Freaks and weirdos are welcome to participate in the race but will not be allowed to use the bathroom in my home. They should bring groovers or make other arrangements. Leave no trace!


There is no entry fee and no need to register. Please do email me a few days ahead of time if you intend to run so I can cancel the whole thing if there is too much interest. I have no aspirations of ever putting on a legitimate running event. This is meant as a simple fun run for myself and maybe a few friends.

Release from Liability which May or May Not Hold Up in Court:

Ultra running is an intrinsically dangerous activity. Health risks include dehydration, sunburn, heat injury, hyponatremia, renal failure, and total mental or physical exhaustion. Runners are responsible for monitoring their own physical condition. By signing your name to the paper taped to the traffic light control panel, you release Dave and Dave Mows Grass Sports Productions from all liability. Blah, blah,blah.


red dirt girl said...

Oh Dave, you're such a kidder !!



Dave Renfro said...

Do you think I'm kidding?

Hi mule friend!


Jen T said...

No, he's not kidding. Wish I could come, Dave! Not sure I could do 4 hours for the special prize though.

bulletholes said...

"Cxl if there is too much interest"...I haven't laughed this hard in many years.