My Peggy Noonan crushes never last very long. She'll be on Fox News looking hot and using the most beautiful metaphors to make the most insightful comments and I'll say, "Damn! That girl is smokin!" And then I'll hurry to my computer to find some naughty pictures of this most lovely and sensuous creature. Nothing! There is nothing. I'll go twenty pages deep on my preferred search engine, and nothing. Hey, I know conservative women are more careful than liberal women about who they give their negatives to, but there must be something out there, right? Nope, nothing!
Hey Peggy, I'm not looking for video clips of you with Tommy Lee or anything. I wouldn't watch them if I found them, which I won't find them because none exist. I'm not even looking for any round or triangular parts. All I'm after is some type of slightly suggestive outfit. A plunging neckline, for God's sake! I mean, c'mon Peg, get that other collarbone out for the boys, will ya?