New Year's Resolution Possibilities

1. I resolve to read Infinite Jest by David Foster Wallace.

2. I resolve to eat two bananas and a potato every day.

3. I'm gonna be more hip.

4. I resolve to finish a 100-miler.

5. I'm gonna eat a banana and a potato every day.

6. I resolve to treat my anxiety.

7. I'm gonna bitchslap the Heartland 100 in about 28 hours.

8. I resolve to be a better husband and father.

I'm leaning towards number seven.

Merry Christmas Everybody!

I offer this greeting because, delivered correctly, Merry Christmas Everybody! carries less baggage than either Happy Holidays or Merry Christmas ending with a period, dropping the everybody. I say it with an inflection that offers no firm insight into my beliefs regarding the existence or non-existence of a triune god. I hope believers and non-believers alike will appreciate this greeting for what it is, my wish that everybody is able to enjoy the holiday as he or she wishes to enjoy it, in peace, with family, food, fun, and some reflection too. Merry Christmas Everybody!

My Sister is a Total Badass

She runs half-marathons while intravenously administering high-powered antibiotics to herself.

Check out her fantastic race report.

God Bless You Austin Elder

A Sad Farewell

And I would have liked to have known you
But I was just a kid.
Your heating element burned out long before
Your non-stick coating ever did.

Descansi en pau, George Foreman Lean Mean Fat Reducing Grilling Machine.