Leafs Fall to Palin in Home Opener

TORONTO--Maple Leaf fans may be in for another long season if their first game against Alaska Governor Sarah Palin is any indication. Palin, the extreme underdog who had delivered terrible performances in several preseason interviews, pulled off a stunning victory at the Air Canada Center versus a confident Leafs team. Palin's "Joe Six-pack" offense left the Leaf's defense looking effete, snobbish, and out of touch. She opened the scoring a minute into the first period with a shout-out from the blue line and followed with two doggonits in the second. The Leafs rallied with two goals in the third until Palin deployed her energy line of clean coal, natural gas, and nuclear. She deflected a Luke Schenn blast from the point with a finger-waving sneer and denied Pavel Kubina's last-second wraparound attempt with some good Wassila values. Maple Leaf's coach Ron Wilson attempted to manage fan expectations during a post-game presser. "Remember that we're in a rebuild here. It's going to be a tough season."