Yesterday, January twenty-fourth, 2009,

a date which will live in infamy, our epidermis was suddenly and deliberately attacked by histamine and cytokine forces of the Empire of Urticaria. We will not be driven by scratching into an age of dermatographism if we remember that we are not descended from fearful sebaceous glands. We shall defend our skin, whatever the cost may be, we shall fight in the stratum basale, we shall fight in the stratum spinosum, we shall fight in the stratum granulosum and in the stratum licidum, we shall fight in the stratum corneum;we shall never surrender. That, and we're going to stay out of the swimming pool at the Jones Center for a while.

The Urticarians can kiss my rosy-red ass!